For individuals in the early stages of recovery from a substance use disorder, the approaching holiday season can feel less like a celebration and more like a test of survival. Managing triggers during the holidays is often the single most difficult challenge you will face in your first year of sobriety. The season is a minefield of high-risk situations, emotional stress, and social expectations that can threaten the foundation you’ve worked so hard to build. But with a proactive plan, you can navigate this period with confidence and protect your peace.
At Harmony Healing Center in Cherry Hill, NJ, we understand the unique pressures our clients from the Philadelphia and South Jersey area face. Our dual diagnosis approach is built on providing you with the real-world skills to manage these challenges. This guide offers practical, comprehensive strategies to identify your triggers and create a strong relapse prevention plan for the holidays.
Understanding Your Triggers: The First Line of Defense
A trigger is any person, place, feeling, or event that creates a craving or an urge to use. The first step in managing them is identifying them. Triggers can be broken down into two main categories: internal and external.
- External Triggers: These are the obvious cues in your environment. For the holidays, this includes the sight and smell of alcohol, being at a party, seeing old drinking buddies, or even just the festive decorations that are tied to memories of past substance use.
- Internal Triggers: These are your own feelings and thoughts, which are often the most powerful. Holiday-specific internal triggers include anxiety about family, stress over finances, loneliness (even in a crowded room), or, conversely, the euphoric feeling of celebration.
The “HALT” Acronym: Your 4-Step Emergency Check-In
One of the most effective tools in recovery is the “HALT” acronym. It’s a simple check-in to use when you feel a craving or become suddenly irritable. Often, a powerful urge to use is just your brain misinterpreting a basic, unmet physical or emotional need. Ask yourself:
- Hungry: Have I eaten? Low blood sugar can cause anxiety, irritability, and poor impulse control. A quick, healthy snack can sometimes stop a craving in its tracks.
- Angry: Am I upset about something? A tense conversation with a relative or frustration with holiday traffic can spark a desire to numb that anger.
- Lonely: Do I feel isolated or disconnected? This is a very common feeling during the holidays, even when you’re surrounded by people.
- Tired: Am I physically or emotionally exhausted? Holiday preparations are draining. Exhaustion shatters your defenses and makes you vulnerable.
Simply identifying one of these states and addressing it—by eating a meal, stepping away from a conflict, texting a sober friend, or taking a 10-minute rest—can be enough to diffuse the immediate danger.
Step 2: Create a Proactive “Sober Safety Plan”
Do not “wing it.” Going into a holiday event without a plan is setting yourself up for failure. Your safety plan should be your non-negotiable script for the day. This plan should have three phases: before, during, and after the event.
Phase 1: Before the Event
- Know Your “Why”: Why are you going? Is it to see a specific family member you love? Focus on that one, positive reason.
- Bring Your “Shield”: Your “shield” is a non-alcoholic drink you genuinely enjoy. Arrive with your own sparkling cider, craft soda, or seltzer. Keep it in your hand. This does two things: it gives you something to hold and sip on, and it stops people from constantly asking, “Can I get you a drink?”
- Bookend Your Events with Support: Plan a “check-in” call with your sponsor, therapist, or a sober friend before you go to the event to ground yourself and state your intentions. Plan another “check-out” call for after you leave to process how it went. This creates a powerful bubble of accountability.
Phase 2: During the Event
- Have an Exit Strategy: This is your most important tool. Always have control over your ability to leave. Drive yourself, have a trusted sober friend on call, or have a ride-share app ready. Give yourself permission to leave at any time for any reason—no excuses needed. Your sobriety is your priority.
- Be a “Sober Helper”: The easiest way to avoid awkward conversations is to be busy. Offer to help the host in the kitchen, play with the kids, or be the one to clear plates. This gives you a clear purpose and makes it easy to navigate the room.
- Find Your Safe Spot: Scope out the location. Where is a quiet room, a porch, or a bathroom where you can retreat for 2-3 minutes to take a few deep breaths and re-center yourself if you feel overwhelmed?
Phase 3: After the Event
Acknowledge what you just did. Leaving a party sober is a huge win. Take a moment to feel proud of yourself. Make that “check-out” call to your support person. If the event was difficult, talk about what was hard. If it went well, celebrate that success. This helps you learn from the experience and reinforces your new, healthy behaviors.
Step 3: Practice Setting and Holding Your Boundaries
The holidays will test your new boundary-setting skills. This is a critical part of recovery and self-respect. Boundaries are not about being rude; they are about being clear. Our family therapy programs are designed to help families learn this new, healthier way of communicating.
Script Your “No”
You will be offered a drink. It’s often not malicious, just habit. Practice your answer so you are not caught off guard. It doesn’t have to be a confrontation. A simple, polite, and firm response is all that’s needed:
- “No, thank you, I’m good with this.” (While holding your non-alcoholic drink)
- “I’m not drinking tonight, but thank you.”
- “I’m driving, so I’ll stick to seltzer.”
You do not owe anyone a detailed explanation of your recovery. “No, thank you” is a complete sentence. If someone pushes, it’s they who are being rude, not you. Simply repeat your “no” and walk away to find your sober ally or “safe spot.”
Boundaries with Difficult Family Members
This can be the hardest part. Family members may pry (“Why aren’t you drinking?”), or bring up painful topics from the past. You have a right to protect your mental peace. It is okay to say, “I’m really focusing on enjoying the day today, and I’d prefer not to talk about that right now,” and then immediately change the subject.
Step 4: When You Need More Than a Plan
Sometimes, especially in early recovery, a holiday event is simply too high-risk. It is 100% acceptable to skip an event entirely to protect your sobriety. Your health comes first. You can suggest an alternative way to celebrate, like meeting your family for a quiet breakfast or going for a walk, that doesn’t involve the triggering environment of a party.
If you are struggling to manage your triggers and feel your sobriety is at risk, the most important thing you can do is ask for help. Our programs at Harmony Healing Center, including our IOP and PHP, provide the structured support and dual diagnosis care to help you navigate these high-risk times. We provide a safe space to reinforce your coping skills and connect with a community that understands.
Managing triggers during the holidays is a test of the skills you are learning. You can do this. Contact us today if you need support—we are here for you.